


Big D Energy

by bi_elric



Series: Memeracolous Ladycrack [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged Up, Aged-Up Character(s), Also this is clearly, Alya is an evil mastermind, And also a memelord, Crack, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, I don't know what angst is and i dont wanna know, I saw the big d meme and just... yea, Identity Reveal, It's still a work in progress but it's going to take a while, Memes, This is just really really dumb, laughs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-09 01:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15256374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_elric/pseuds/bi_elric
Summary: "So basically that's why I think that Mr. Clean has a Big Dick Energy" said AlyaMarinette took a second to process what her friend had just said "Alya you're not making sense""No, dude, she's right" intervened NinoMarinette side eyed him"Marinette, really, it makes sense" said Adrien  "for example Ladybug has a Big Dick Energy"The gang is having the time of their life in university, but for some reason a certain meme ignites something bigger and somehow almost CATastrophic...[It's not smut, I swear!! The Teens Rating is because of my potty mouth and also because apparently memes can be NSFW too]





	1. A certain Vibe

**Author's Note:**

> it started out as a meme how did we end up like this  
> It was only a meme (it was only a meme)

It had been seven years since Marinette had accepted Tikki and her Miracolous, actually the 8th anniversary was just a few months away.  
It had also been seven years since she had met Chat; and most importantly, it had been seven years since Adrien gave her his umbrella.

Did she spend these seven years pining after him? Yes. But she had definitely gotten better. Truth be told she had spent about 4 years without being able to properly talk, walk, or even just breathe around him, but after some time the two had grown closer and closer, to the point she and Adrien could be considered actual friends.  
Buddies, even. 

And now they were all in university, in campus-es close enough to each other for them to be able to have lunch together when they weren't running from one class to another.

And that was one of those days.  
Alya was done with her semester's classes and was typing on her computer a couple emails to her international journalism prof, Nino was talking to Adrien about his music theory exam, Adrien was preparing for a physics test, and Marinette, her fingers sore from stitching her last project together, was sure to know what happiness was.

Marinette smiled, picking her lunch from her bag, Alya had started talking to the boys but she hadn't realized.  
Too busy admiring Adrien's hot professor's looks. He had taken up the habit of using his glasses. It wasn't a fancy pair, but Marinette wouldn't have lied if she said they gave him a new kind of charme making her melt into a piddle of goo every time he looked at her.

"So basically that's why I think that Mr. Clean has a Big Dick Energy" said Alya  
Marinette took a second to process what her friend had just said "What?"  
"We were talking about this new meme thing going around, where wad your head, girl"  
Marinette shrugged  
"Basically it's a kind of vibe that someone gives off, it can be someone of any gender, really, it's a spiritual dick"  
"Alya you're not making sense"  
"No, dude, she's right" intervened Nino "honestly I was kind of puzzled at first too, but... yeah I mean now i can see why, say, that cereal tiger dude had a Big Dick Energy"  
Marinette side eyed him  
"Marinette, really, it makes sense" said Adrien, and suddenly she kinda saw what the whole point was about... maybe she didn't, but... who was she to contradict Adrien "for example Ladybug has a Big Dick Energy" 

And that should have been her cue to leave, Marinette thought, a piece of her heated up lasagna stuck in her throat, hopefully in the deadliest way.  
"I can see that!!" Said Alya, her eyes lighting up "she is caring, and strong, and definitely has the humble confidence a Big Dick Energy person needs" Alya nodded "I'm going to add that to the next Ladyblog Meme night, thanks Sunshine Boy"  
Adrien chuckled as he brushed off the nickname.

"What about Chat Noir tho" said Nino, a hand on the table, right in front of Adrien's salad "does he have the Big Dick Energy vibe?"  
The inquiry seemed to freeze the whole table.  
Why that?  
Well for one Alya was actually considering the situation.  
Adrien's breath was nowhere to be found, his eyes stuck on Nino, his skin three to four tones paler than usual, as if all the blood he had in his face had suddely vanished. The fork he was eating his salad with stuck in the air, slightly trembling as the silence made itself more and more imposing.  
Marinette, lastly, was having a war-like flashback of her secret superheroine life: every time she fell on Chat, every time he stepped in front of her, every time they brushed around each other, dressed in skin thigh magic latex... if Adrien's face was as white as death, hers was as red as tomatoes.  
That silence was unbeareable  
"Nino," Alya said, finally weighting in, an eyebrow raised in cocky pretentiousness "Considering how little is left to the imagination thanks to that leather kink-fest he wears, we know damn well Chat's Big Dick Energy is far more than just a vibe" 

And that was what killed Adrien Agreste.  
He chocked on air, wheezing for a good minute, until he finally managed to rise a trembling hand towards his water bottle and take a tentative sip, his eyes watering, a laughter blatantly and badly hidden between his lips, that made him choke on the water after a giggle.  
Marinette was left bezaddled, her eyes wider than ever, fixated now on Alya's laughing face, now on Nino's hysterical fit, now on Adrien's slow and painful death.

"... what" she managed to say, once again, before giving up to the cackling laugh that had apparently infected the whole table.


	2. Spandex Covered Inquiries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat has a really pressing question and Ladybug feels stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finally come out with another chapter hooray

  
Chat and Ladybug’s patrol thursdays were a tradition.  
Hawkmoth had been dead silent for a while, seven years of akumas were a lot and to be fair the dynamic duo was glad Hawkmoth and his god damned butterflies were just as tired as them.  
Once every couple of weeks a random citizen would have their toast buttered the wrong way and would go ape shit.  
Marinette would call her spots, Chat would get his claws and after a hour of jumping around, bantering, and a bit of flirting, Ladybug would catch the OtherBug, patronize it, and everything was back to normal.  
A nice routine, in the end.

Back from where we started, anyway, Patrol Thursdays were their moment.  
They didn’t get much patrolling done, they mostly just walked from a roof to another, raced a bit sometimes, but spent most of the night sitting in front of the Eiffel Tower, their feet dangling from the edge of whatever roof they had decided to sit on, smiling fondly at each other and gossiping.

It was a nice friendship for both of them, yes, Chat still flirted with her, he seemed to never get tired of it, but Ladybug knew she would have missed it if he had stopped.  
Also she kind of feared the moment he would get engaged with someone that wasn’t her, as hard as she tried to convince herself it wasn’t jealousy her guts would turn around every time she thought about Chat getting an actual life partner.

But relationships weren’t going to be the evening’s topic apparently, because a couple of minutes after sitting down and bathing in the Tower’s lights, Chat decided to say this:

“Do you think my suit is too tight?”  
Marinette glanced at her partner “Why are you asking me this?”  
“Because I read a couple comments about it on the internet–“  
“You say this as if there haven’t been comments about you and your suit since it was very illegal to do so…”  
Chat nodded that off, but apparently this time it had actually moved something in him because he kept going  
“–yes, but this time I mean it… what’s your opinion”  
“well, I know it’s comfortable”  
“I don’t care about how comfortable it looks to you, Bug, is it too tight?”  
“I know it isn’t, I have one just as tight”  
“Ladybug Genevieve Prenome”  
“Did you just give me a second name”  
“Is my suit too tight”  
Silence.  
“Do you really think “Surname” is my Surname”  
“Please tell me?”

Chat looked really conflicted, embarrassed maybe? Marinette studied him for a bit. The black of the suit made him look like a model. It enhanced the curves of the muscles, it made his shoulders look bigger.  
Beefy.  
Rena Rouge used to describe him as Beefy.  
Well she wasn’t wrong but she had always been very against the objectification of her friends…   
Rena still wasn’t wrong…   
Damn Alya and her memes.

“I don’t mind, Chaton” she said, a sly smile on her lips, her eyes on the Eiffel tower.  
Chat’s contrite expression turned into amusement, his lips curling into a mischievous pout, his eyebrows twitching up.  
“Ooh” he cooed. An entirely different person than the second just before “You don’t mind”  
Ladybug definitely regretted saying that.  
“And why’s that”  
“You don’t hurt my eyes” she said, hoping that could settle it  
Chat smiled again, this time looking like he belonged to a derailed and kind of PG 18 rated version of alice in wonderland.  
“Never thought I’d sweep you off your feet thanks to my sculpted ass, Bugaboo”  
Marinette’s petty instincts took in and her mind went into must-win-this mode  
“It ain’t the ass” she shrugged “and I ain’t been swept off my feet”  
Chat looked at her, was he flexing? What a nerd  
“Yet” he added.

They kept on flirt-bickering until patrol time was up.   
Adrien loved those nights, he felt alive, happy, satisfied, ready for the world. And also in love, but that wasn’t that groundbreaking anymore.  
Ladybug was his best friend, and he wouldn’t have changed that for the world, even if that meant hiding his feelings and seeing her spend her life with someone else.  
Okay maybe he wasn’t so happy about that, but for his lady he could have made it, as long as they still had their patrol thursdays.

The two heroes stood up, and he stared at her for a moment, her eyes catching his, his breath stopping as her raven hair brushed her rosy, freckly cheeks.  
She was so pretty, so effortlessly amazing  
“One last thing before you must break my heart and leave me again, My Lady”  
“Didn’t we leave the My Lady to the neckbeards years ago, mon chaton?”  
“Don’t ruin it” he told her just to return to his jokingly pompous tone “My Lady must know that her aura has powerful stance”  
“… Chat, what–“   
He was bowing at ninety degrees, his lips brushing on her knuckles, his breath warming her fingers, something making her blush, then he said,  
“Thee Energy is that of a Giant Peepee”   
After a moment of silence they bursted out laughing  
“Not this shit again” she breathed, still smiling as brightly as the sun.  
He quickly kissed her hand, then bowed slightly  
“Exit stage left” he said, finger gunning “catch-ya later, bug”

Marinette was left on that roof, her spiritual dick having been praised far too many times in a single week.  
“Wait a second”  
A voice, coming right from where Chat Noir had leaped on the street right below, then the familiar Baton extended itself past the edge of the roof where Marinette was standing.  
“What do you mean by again” he snickered “because clearly someone has been praising your own spiritual baton more than i have been”

“It’s a long story”  
“Well then” Chat sat, his elbows on his crossed legs, “I haven’t used my cataclysm, you haven’t lucky-charmed… we have all night, I don’t think you have a curfew when you are, what, 20 years old?”  
“21”  
“You’re my age”  
“See, that’s why I don’t want to talk about it…”  
“you can leave things as vague as you want, Bug, I’m just so happy to know you have people to joke with in your every day life”  
“This suddenly became sweeter than planned, what’s with that, kitty? don’t you care about my spiritual dick anymore? Are you making this serious?”  
“I am always serious, even if we meme around”  
Marinette thought about it for a second too much, what if he discovered her real identity. Her heart took a leap from there, and suddenly she became painfully aware of how much she wanted him to be part of her daily life, to the point that maybe her secret could have been shared.   
“Let’s meme then”

“So you’re telling me that this friend of yours, who might or might not be Rena Rouge’s real identity, told you that Ladybug has a big dick energy without knowing that you were ladybug all along?”  
Adrien snickered, he did find himself in a pretty good position.  
“Well, she did agree, but it was actually my crush that said that” she said  
“Ooh, what crush?”  
“Oh you know the crush, Chat”  
“Still the boy from back in the day?”  
“Still him” she sighed  
“So he thinks your alter ego has a big dick energy” Adrien didn’t really think he had any chance with her anyway, but every time that crush put himself in the conversation he had this aching pain “Did they say anything about me?” he tried to joke around, maybe he could intimidate the boy into at least liking Ladybug back… he would have survived it. Maybe.   
Ladybug laughed, her eyes closing, her nose curling up, the small giggle in her throat becoming a bigger laugh.  
No he wouldn’t have survived it.  
“What?” he said, snickering along, putting his face closer to the laughing bug “What did he say”   
“You had to be there, Chaton, you had to be there” she kept getting interrupted by her own giggles, it was adorable “He almost died when my other friend said what she thought about you”   
“Tell me~” Adrien whined  
“You know what” she said then, finally breathing “it really comes along to that same topic we discussed earlier”   
“What topic– the suit topic?”   
She felt her cheeks reddening, yes, she was still smiling and laughing, but her eyes were sparkling of a different light.  
And he had noticed, his eyes smiled, looking into hers, trying to find clues about what she meant.  
Adrien watched is best friend’s ears turn as red as her suit as her eyes glanced him from upside down, lingering on the down-er part just a second too much, then she giggled again.  
“Aaaah” she let out, lying on her back, her hands covering half her face “I can’t do this” her voice a high pitched whine.

But Adrien wasn’t so oblivious as he was when he was 15, so he said  
“Now, bugaboo” he leaned forward to her “I don’t want to sound like my ego is bigger than it is”   
She stopped giggling as he balanced himself on her, in a very shoujo-manga-esque pose.  
“but I kind of lied before, I didn’t actually read a comment, I heard one of my closest friend say what I am going to tell you”  
Ladybug’s cheeks were less red, but her breath was heavy for a second.  
“She said–” he started   
He leaned in closer to Ladybug’s face, she held her breath in, her eyes locked in his.  
“Your suit is thigh enough” “–That I have more than vibe”  
Chat smirked at her remark, finally satisfied with the response, while she had an indecipherable expression on her  
“More than a vibe?” she breathed  
"Hmm" he hummed, his arms supporting him so that his face was just above hers.

There was a moment of tension, in which neither of them breathed, nor spoke, nor did anything other than losing themselves inside each other's eyes.  
A pigeon startled them, breaking the moment.  
And Chat's eyes regained their usual playful light.  
"But I won't ask you if you want proof, because that would be inappropriate"  
He kissed her freckled nose and stood up.

Marinette's heart had never beated so hard.  
She still felt her partner's lips on her nose.  
She felt dizzy, and confused, and her entire body seemed feverish.  
She got up just to find herself where they had started.  
Sitting quietly beside each other.  
Something more in both their hearts.

Then her phone rang.  
"You can answer it, don't worry, I'll be right here, thinkong about my thigh black suit" winked Chat, she rolled her eyes and distamced herself a bit.

"Hey" she answered the call  
"Marinette, girl, where the hell are you?"  
She stalled for a second, looking around her, trying to find an excuse  
Chat saw her confused and mimed a man walking with his claws.  
Ladybug gave him a thumbs up and came back to the call  
"I went out for a walk and forgot what time it was"

Adrien could hear whoever was on the other side of the phone screaming at his lady. He chuckled, that way of communicating really reminded him of-  
"Alya, for fuck's sake shut up a second I'm not that far away, and I'm a couple people I know so don't worry?"  
Ladybug was muttering, but he had heard that.  
Alya.  
Alya.  
So... she knew Alya in real life.  
And he knew most of Alya's friends so he must have met Ladybug in his normal life.  
For a second Adrien heart stopped pumping and his brain shut off.

He knew Ladybug!

He was going to kiss Alya.  
And maybe steal her phone.

"It's still only 4AM, I'll be back before 5, don't worry"  
He still could hear her, but he decided to play it cool  
"Yeah, I have our dormroom keys, I'm not fourteen anymore. Yeah see you later, shut up Alya I'm not having an affair."  
He didn't really hear the last part, only a high pitched whine from his bug and then the call ended.

And that was the start of his very own mission impossible.

Marinette came back to Chat, hoping he didn't hear anything.  
Alya was really a pain in the ass sometimes, but they were living together to make the rent of their house a more doable expanse, so she had all the rights to play the mom.  
She sighed and walked over her partner.  
"Sorry, but it's late and I have to get back to my apartment"  
Chat looked at her, a sweet smile on his lips.  
Weird.  
"Don't worry about it, I really should have let you go home sooner" he chuckled "angry friends?"  
"Just an annoying roommate who likes to act like she gave birth to me"  
"I understand, don't worry" he chuckled "I have this friend who, since I moved out of my father's, has been acting like she's my cool aunt. She keeps bringing me places and having me for dinner. She doesn't even cook, her roommate does, still..."

Adrien had just realized what he had said.  
He knew Ladybug was talking to Alya.  
Alya was the one who had been acting as his new Aunt.  
Alya had been the one inviting him over at her apartment.  
And her roommate was Ladybug.  
So Ladybug was...

He chocked on air.  
It happened a lot lately, but he had just come to a conclusion that was honesfly groundbreaking and complefely unexpected.

"So I'll just head home, I'm sorry, chaton, I really had fun tonight"  
"Yeah don't worry about it, me too, see you next thursday! Bye!" He said.  
She looked at him weird and then leaped off, her yoyo dragging her away from Adrien.

"Holy fucking shit" said Adrien Agreste, golden boy and model extraordinarie.  
His peach-emoji looking ass wrapped in whatever kind of faux leather his magic suit was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual if there's anything misspelled just hmu!  
> Thank you so much for reading, i will love you forever if you leave a kudos, especially if you also comment~

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry this is weird as hell and also really stupid, but the idea made me chuckle and i really wanted it to see the light.  
> Also I'm sorry this is kinda short, but I'm really just going with my instincts, I'll be real I haven't really re-read the thing so if it sucks blame it on 00:34am me.  
> Another thing: I don't have a beta and english is not my first language so if you find some errors just tell me in the comments and I'll fix whatever needs to be fixed~  
> Thank you so much for reading it, please leave a kudo and a comment!
> 
> EDIT: it's the morning after and I'm revising some of the stuff I've writte, there was a couple typos here and there, but again, if I missed something just HMU somehow
> 
> Also thank you so much for the support to all those who kudo-ed and commented, yall are the real MVPs *heart eyes emoji*


End file.
